Don’t ask me why I want to learn Sign Language.

   Last year, I looked up the timetable for Sign Language classes online and asked my friends and see if any of them want to join me. But whenever I summoned all my courage to ask them, they asked me why? Maybe you want to know as well, but I was afraid to answer because I did not have a firm quick answer myself as well.


  If you know a little bit about Deaf culture, you know that the first few things they would ask including the question ‘are you hearing or deaf?’ I am hearing, I do not have any Deaf or Hard of hearing relatives nor friends.  Some background on the sign language I am interested in is it is not popular, in fact it is one of the endangered languages in the world, but as that sign language is used by people living in the same city as me, without any hesitation I know I have to learn that as the first sign language, sense of belonging I would say.


 Going back to the question, WHY? why sign language? not Spanish? not Japanese? When my best friend asked me I even shamelessly said that because I wanted to write sign language as my speciality, so that it can polish my CV. That was the most sensible reason I can think of, that most people would think ‘ah ha, no wonder’, and hope that this can stop them from asking for further details, but at the same time it was the worst reason. Shame on me, this reason shows how selfish I am. Maybe that’s not really what I think, maybe, I said it just because it shut their mouths up.


So, what is the real answer? I sat down and asked myself, I am just curious about being Deaf. When I was little I always imagine, what if I am blind? what if I am deaf? what if I am a wheel-chair user? Sometimes I would pretend I was blind, and walk around the flat with closed eyes or in the dark, and hit my toes against the wall, nearly every time! Do those people ( I try to avoid the word disabled ) have a choice? No, that’s so sad, I felt bad for people who are blind, deaf and other people who need to use wheel-chair. Many people would react like this, that was my first reaction as well. BUT Wait….do I feel bad for having eczema, a life-long skin disease? well, sometimes, but I don’t want people to feel bad for me, that’s no big deal actually, it can happen to everyone, but it helps me to learn about life, and now that’s part of me, the bloody wounds and scars paths my way to be different in appearance and it cultivates my compassion to understand other minorities in every society.  Later on I searched online to understand what if I am blind, surprisingly it turned out there are lots of little tricks like sewing little labels on your clothing so you can remember their colors, so on and so on to help ‘freshers’ to be independent, and the only thing I can do is respect. But respect is a big word, it pulls me back to my chair to think instead of doing. hmmm….so maybe some knowledge-based background first? Fair enough, so understanding is my ultimate goal. I want to learn sign language because I want to make some friends who are Deaf, I want to understand Deaf people, their culture, the difficulties they encounter and learn the appropriate way to treat them. ‘It’s all about understanding’, that’s something I believe. Sadly this reason seems so eccentric to people living in a Hearing community, who surround themselves in a hearing environment, I just didn’t have the guts to say that out at that time. I have never tell them the truth.

  Learning something do not need a reason, just do it as you like it, but when there are no personal or very strong reasons to support it, it becomes open for attacks. I always think no reason is better than thousands of explanations, when you know it is the right thing to do, explain it just make you want to be things that are bigger than yourself, it is not necessary, nor appropriate. This innocent love of something, can accomplish more than words. :]Image



How I Cured My Anxiety

Surprisingly, the answer is PLAY. Play is the state of mind, so you can stay at the present, embrace challenges as a game.
This, I think of a quote in my city people love to say, ‘you lose when you are too serious’. Serious people do not understand it, or they can not stand the attitude of play. But that’s true, when you are too involved in the rules of a men-structured system, like the rules of an education system- the exams, you lose yourself, you forget the meaning of learning. Life is a game, it doesn’t mean you have to be playful and forget all the work you have, but instead, able to let go and realise no matter what grades you have, it’s just a game, and have fun !That’s the right attitude.


UPDATE: As of July 2013, this article is the #1 search result on Google for “how to cure anxiety.” In this post, you will learn about the key breakthrough I had that freed me from my mental prison. More than anything else, this change in how I viewed the world gave me my life back. It’s helped tens of thousands of readers, and I hope it can help you as well.

If you’re interested in reading my short memoir, which includes my weekly schedule and every technique that helped cure my anxiety, click here.

Now… on with the post!

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For a long time, I thought I was going crazy. I’d convinced myself that something horribly wrong was about to happen. I thought I would be stabbed, shot, or arrested every time I left my apartment. I was sure that there was an impending disaster that would melt the…

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One Ridiculous Suggestion~

I make myself cry. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mean that I would just sit down and hypnotise myself, ‘please cry, at this moment, I am sad, I am hopeless, I have to cry….’ What I mean is once in a while I love to read stories that made myself cry, sometimes I got a very strong feeling that I lock myself in my room, go search for some heart-wrenching videos.

You have to understand, in front of people I am a shy little girl who only loves to laugh when people talking to me or when I am alone I would rather sit somewhere than showing my true feelings. I am not someone you will imagine crying, let alone  someone who wants to cry once in a while.

I don’t know how this habit starts, this is just something you did randomly in the past and then one day you told yourself you should do more, and later on it becomes a habit, without a plan. Here I will tell you why you should do it too.

Once in a while, especially when life is so empty, without a real purpose, you feel like being pushed by others and have done many things that are not your own wish, even though you were the one who came up with the original idea, things just turn out the other way round. Deep inside there are lots of repressed emotions and it’s time. It’s time to release them. It’s time to be honest with yourself, it’s time to cry for yourself, you wish something would not happen again, you wish things are much easier.

Find a touching story, watch an episode of Melinda Gordon ( The Ghost Whisperer works very well for me, I cry every episode with no exception), they remind you of a topic that is so raw, so close to everyone- Being a human. You and me are humans, we are so little, we are just two out of thousands and thousands of living things in this Earth, there are so many thing we can’t control in our lives, the message is don’t be cruel to yourself, we are not Supermen, no matter how many expectations your boss, your friends, your family have on you, your boss think you can accomplish things that only 3 people can finish, your manager tell others how stupid you are, your family don’t understand what you are going through, your friends are jealous of you, and so much more…. Admit it, you are exhausted, you are frustrated. Cry it out, It’s okay to cry, everybody hurts some time, and we just pick ourselves up and move on. At least that’s what you can do- true to yourself.

Another thing about the fudamental fact that we are human is, on one hand it is self-love, as we can’t do much to change the world, not even yourself, so in front of self-blame and self-doubts what we can do is self-love.

On the opposite side of the same fact also suggests compassion, it’s about what we can do. We are living things on Earth, we have the ability to understand what others go through, not only humans, but dogs, cats…other animals with feelings as well, we can interact so we can connect each other, we share feelings and that’s why we can empathize. In this cruel world, people try to put in the mindset that humans are the only one with feelings, with you have seen dogs cry you know how this doesn’t make sense. That’s a shame, we isolate ourselves from other animal species so we seem superior to other animals, we should be connected and we understand that all animals are just living a life, with a impartial eye you will see all beings are the same. Be compassionate. Going back to the human world it’s not better actually, society only appreciate those with abilities, power and money, we are little but we can do something as well, don’t go blind and follow those rules set by the society and become part of the cruel world, as everyone should be respected, there are principles that we have to fight till the end of the day. To respect every being, not only as a slogan in your room, but burn that in our hearts like a scar on our skin, a scar with a bleeding story to tell and remind you something important—Respect and compassion.

People said I am weird but I am proud to be this way, to ask yourself to cry from time to time sounds a little bit ridiculous, but as a way to be true to yourself, fair enough. Just be yourself and do whatever needs to be done. It’s time to do something for yourself.

Take care,

Pooky :P

Is Fear the Path to the Dark Side or the Bright Side?

”Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” -yoda

That’s my friend’s tweet.

”Fear is the path to the bright side. Fear leads to understanding of yourself. Understanding leads to compassion. Compassion leads to love. Love leads to courage, and courage defeats fear.”

I replied.

Without fear there are no courage.

A courageous fighter knows the fears he has to face.

The person who is being bullied comes out and stops others from being bullied is a courageous fighter.

The person who comes out of closet is courageous.

A single mom who fights for her sons’ and daughters’ living is fearless.

A person who tell you the secrets with fear that you would betray him or her one day is brave.

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

Without the knowledge of fear, ‘fearless’ is only a word from innocence.

‘Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.’  ~Ambrose Redmoon

So, is fear at the dark side or the bright side?

Fear is neutral, like two sides of a coin, only when you see both sides of fear, you understand it is neither good nor bad.

If you reject the bad side, and repress it , it will only grow much stronger, making you unhappy, because you are living in a lie, in a denial of your true self.

Only when you see both sides of fear, you are able to see it as a whole, and realise it is neutral, and then you would be able to choose the path you want fear to lead you to.



Effective Procrastination: Methods and Future Study

oh my goodness, i used all the methods discussed there, studies also show that students older than 21 are less likely to procrastinate, suddenly this gives me hope that i will not waste time reading random posts here while there are so much more to be done. But if i don’t procrastinate, probably i would not find this site and i would not decide to have a blog.

Tastes Like Onion


            Procrastination is the act of engaging in another activity. Through a case study of one female individual, five effective procrastination methods and examples will be discussed. Recommendations for future study include replicating results in a controlled environment, and study into alternative procrastination methods.


            Procrastination, a “self-imposed frustration” (Andreou, 2007, p. 183), is described by Solomon and Rothblum (1984) as “the tendency to delay initiation or completion of important tasks to the point of discomfort” (Howell & Watson, 2007, p. 167), and is a difficult behavior trait for individuals to overcome. The lure of engaging in another activity is both satisfying and depraved, and leads afflicted individuals into a “preference loop,” as described by Andreou (2007). Howell and Watson (2007) found that procrastination is associated with “greater disorganization and less use of cognitive and meta-cognitive strategies” (p. 167).

Despite any comprehensive literature review to the contrary, through…

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