well, this is not really a description of the song, but listening to Boyce Avenue’s original songs really remind me quite a story.
I remember two to three years ago I was an active member of some kind of social network like facebook,try to connent people in a meaningful way, but different from fb every member can ask questions and share stories that every member can see and comment.
One day I met a girl who was upset and bored and asked what can she do. I answered listening to songs but she said listening to songs will make things worse.
At that time I didn’t have a clue about her until later I realised she was heart broken, listening to songs about love was a torture, as many songs were conditioned to something personal. I am not going to talk about the details what really happened, but instead I am talking about my side of story trying to help her.
Even though at that time I was preparing for exams, and I barely know her. Her story moved me. I sent back emails that would touch her and tell me more about herself, I sent back suggestions and advice that might impress her. I become emotionally attached to someone I have never seen. To feel her saddness, I kept listening to sad songs, and my favourite are Boyce Avenue’s original songs, like Dare to Believe and Broken Angel. I tortured myself with sad songs so I can have a slight understanding what she was going through. I can tell you, I was insane. I knew that, but my intention to tell her ‘it’s okay to hurt’ and ‘I might help her’ was so strong, so intense that it blinded my judgement. I sent her songs in languages I know she would not understand, I should be memorising chemistry equations but instead Iooking up videos to help her let go. Maybe the academic studies were too much to take I decided to help her instead of myself, as her story gave me hope that I can do something. May be I was obsessed with her story or maybe it’s just a matter of fact that ‘helping people going through their tough time’ is what I always want to do.
At the end she stopped talking to me, I guessed I went too far. But Boyce Avenue’s songs, still one of my favourites.
Looking back to this story, I was so naive. I was desperate and demanding and using all the wrong methods.
Helping people is still one of my biggest lifegoals, but it required patience, detachment after work, the capacity to see her story in her shoes, being mentally stronger than her, holding the resources she will need to know, self awareness and maybe similar life experiences.
I learnt better now, but this will be a story of mine, need to be told so I will be reminded the importance of striking a balance between the desire to help and her desire for help. Otherwise, I am just being a bad guy, in the name of helping people.