Q.1 Who are you?
Hello, I am Pooky.”Who are you?” is a very broad but important question. The first time I realised this is during my high school psychology lesson, I learnt about the psychologist Erik Erikson and his famous Psychosocial theory. He talked about at different stages a person have to learn different things. In a way he is saying, learning is endless because life struggle does not go away just because you become old, there is always a life struggle different from the previous one that will come up and you have to face until you die. This is a very powerful message that we cannot stop learning. Anyway. I was 17 at that time and I focused at the one stage young teenagers have to face, which is stage 5- Identity vs Role confusion. The core question for people at that age is exactly what you are asking me, ‘who am I?’ According to Erikson, people without serious thoughts on that will just follow their family and friends’ suggestion and become confused about their self, less confident than their peers and may go through an identity crisis when they started to question themselves what they really want from life. So, I decided I should dig into my inner self and learn about myself.
Digging deeper and deeper inside yourself is a fruitful process that made yourself smile, and the answer to this question can have lots of layers and angels as well, so I started my self-understanding journey in the sea of brain waves. Set up the sail and wait for the wind to blow me to a new place. On board, I am no captain.
Life is the wind and the one directing the ship, I am just a little girl working on the ship- making sense of life.
Q.2. Why did you call yourself a strange loop? Have you read the book ‘I am a strange loop’?
I am a loop, I review my own thoughts again and again, like a loop, the thinking process never ends.
I am strange, if you want to make my day, talk about disabilities, talk about death, talk about how does it feel to be raped/ to be bullied/ to be different in a norm……My goal is to understand what people have gone through, in particular, traumatic experiences.
Have you read the book ” I am a strange loop”? No, not really, I just came across the title of the book when I was reading another book about psychopaths.But I got the book, certainly the type of books I will enjoy. It talks about the relationship between mind and body, I am sure I will finish reading it. Probably my understanding of I’m a strange loop is different from the author, but as the author said it should be YOU’re the strange loop, I guess he would be glad I use it.
Q.3 How about ‘Being and Nothingness’?
Ha, that’s very hard to answer, because at first I just randomly picked a phrase I found meaningful to myself, I mean the gut feeling that I like it, that’s life. Without further explanation, I decided to use it. A feeling is just a feeling, sometimes you can’t explain it.
If you want me to find a phrase to describe myself at this moment, probably that would be ‘Being young and stupid’, as I am not sophisticated, and that’s stupid of me to use a phrase so classy, and I am trying to write things that can relate to everyone, which I know I can’t. Blogging is just a way to tell others how little I know about life. But I am proud to be young and stupid, everyone goes through that.
I said the phrase ‘Being and Nothingness’ is just too classy for me, and I couldn’t explain it. However, with time, it does make sense. Whenever something bad happens in life, we thought that life is going to end, everything is over, that your self is fading to Nothingness. However, your physical body, continue to exist on their Earth, you are a being. The life you seem to hate, continue to carry on. Thus, being or nothingness, it looks like contradictory at first sight, is not. Life is like this in many situations, if you can see that. Emotionally we thought we died, that we are worthless, but at the same time, being a human, reminds us that we continue to exist, and as long as you exist, you are good enough being a human, and that concludes you are never just nothing.